Tanya Malik
Shweta said, "I was really furious to see that. I wanted to ask if they are not capable enough to let a patient take rest. That's basic. This is why I feel it is very important for me to teach my kids to pick their clothes, cook food. Mothers should ask for help; they should not glorify for sure that you are making sacrifices. If I do it now, I am blocking the way for the coming generations. For such things, we need to fight, put our voice forward. We are not super women, we just want to be a regular woman who wants some care, rest and sleep just like any human."
My conversation with Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee revolved around the challenges of being a working mother, achieving an equal space for working women in a household, self care and more. Excerpts.
Acing All Roles
Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee is a working mother, photographer, blogger and entrepreneur. There are many feathers in her cap. I asked her what was her mantra to ace all her roles to the T. She shared, "Playing these roles has always been a part of me. Ofcourse with motherhood it becomes a lot more challenging because you are taking care of a child but then I think good planning helps a lot, you have to plan your day. Self motivation is is the key, nobody will come to you and motivate you, you have to motivate yourself if you wish to achieve some goals or objectives or reach some space in the game. Also, I think support from the family is very important. If they are not supporting you, sit and have a conversation with them and make them understand, fight for it."When we talk of being a working mother, women have been conditioned to believe that they need to strike a balance between their work, child care duties and household chores but that's not the case with men. I asked the mom blogger what contributes to these unrealistic expectations from women and when will they come to an end.
Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee said, "I think we have come a long way from our previous generation in that space. Today, men are a little more understanding, they no longer believe in those patrichal society norms. When we talk of equal spaces, it will take time and it has to start from our homes. We can't change the society in one go, we have to constantly make small little changes and these changes have to start from home. That's when we might see a bigger change in overall society."
"My husband loves to cook so my son sees him in the kitchen and its a big change, it never really happened earlier. We only used to see our mothers cooking in the kitchen. I want my son to learn cooking because its a life skill. Parents today have to really teach their children gender neutral concepts, they should uderstand that nothing is specific to a gender."
Equal Space For Working Women
When a man is working, he is the breadwinner and that's about it. However, women haven't been able to achieve such an equal space. I asked Shweta Tanwar if she sees it changing in the coming time.
Shweta Tanwar said, "If a woman has a good job she can probably go out and work while the man can take care of the home and the children. It is there in the society today but it is not accepted that well. We should stop judging others. If a woman is going out to work and the man is taking care of the household, it is supremely okay."
Glorifying Self Sacrifice
There are a lot of women who do it all for their families - they take care of their household, children, finances even if they are under much stress because they feel they have to sacrifice it all for their families. Earlier this year when the second wave hit India, a photo of a woman cooking on oxygen support went viral. I asked Shweta Tanwar if it was high time women should stop glorifying self sacrifice.
She said, "I was really furious to see that. I wanted to ask if they are not capable enough to let a patient take rest. That's basic. This is why I feel it is very important for me to teach my kids to pick their clothes, cook food. Mothers should ask for help, they should not glorify for sure that you are making sacrifices. If I do it now, I am blocking the way for the coming generations. For such things, we need to fight, put our voice forward. We are not super women, we just want to be a regular woman who wants some care, rest and sleep just like any human."